what dreams may come
dan: i had this dream where i was sitting on one of the stone benches at RIT
dan: and you and ben walked up
dan: and he was wearing a pink button up shirt?
dan: but i knew what had happened, and i was really confused
dan: so we're sort of just making small talk about our day
dan: and then he sits down next to me and i say "youll have to excuse me, but how is this doing?" and i touch his shirt where his heart is
dan: and he goes "i dont know." and then sort of doesnt say anything
dan: and then i woke up
me: it's funny how our brains work
me: how hard it is to remember that he's not coming back
dan: i think what makes it difficult at least for me
dan: your situation in the later parts of his life was more that you saw the all the time
dan: for me he was someone who i knew i was going to see again
dan: at some random point at some random time
dan: because thats how it was for years
dan: parking lot of the supermarket, hallway of RIT when i came to visit trav, wherever
dan: much like grace, i had sort of assigned him this role of a constant. someone who it was ok i wasnt seeing now, because i knew id see them eventually.
dan: so even now, not seeing them isnt all that weird, because thats what i was used to. but its hard to remember that that changed.
dan: so even in the dream, i was really confused because i knew what had happened, but it made sense that i was seeing him again.
dan: so it threw me off.
Jan 31st